Redeemed! Reflections on a personal story

Revised September 3, 2018

Alan Gilman, circa 1976

Alan Gilman, circa 1976

September 3, 1976, is the most extraordinary day of my life! When I share my story of coming to know God through Yeshua (Jesus) the Messiah, people often respond with all sorts of questions: How did your family react?; How did this change your life?; What does this mean to you as a Jewish person?; and so on. Yet some years ago I was asked a particular question I had never been asked before: “How did it work?”

My Background

First, some background: As a child and teenager, I suffered from anxiety and depression, including an emotional breakdown at age 11 and panic attacks at 18. I grew up in a home full of discord and strife. My parents separated when I was 8 years old, reconciled a year later only to split up permanently when I was 14. I lived with my mother until I went away to school at age 20, my three older brothers having moved away years before. I saw my father rarely through the years.


Just before my nineteenth birthday, I met a young Jewish man – a friend of a friend – who demonstrated from the Jewish Bible (the Old Testament) that Yeshua was the Messiah.* He explained to me the biblical concepts of sin and forgiveness. He said that if I asked God to forgive me and believed that Yeshua died for my sins and rose from the dead, I would be “happy for the rest of my life and live forever in heaven.” While there was so much of what this young man said that day that was true, I eventually learned that his guaranty of constant happiness was inaccurate – inaccurate, but not entirely untrue. If happiness means a life completely devoid of grief, struggles and disappointments, then he was wrong. But if it means a basic sense of well-being in the midst of the ups and downs of everyday life, then he was absolutely correct.

My panic attacks stopped immediately and for the next few months I was on an emotional high of a nature I had never experienced before. That high didn’t continue, however, which at first was somewhat of a crisis. But it would not be long before I would come to understand the depth of what God had done for me. While my misguided assumptions regarding happiness forever weren’t realized, the change has been no less profound. From my emotional state to my outlook on life to my sense of worth to my values and goals, I have been transformed. While I still struggle with the scars of my first nineteen years of life, I have experienced a most wonderful transformation through my encounter with the reality of the God of Israel through the Messiah.

How Did It Work?

But years later, when asked, “How did it work?”, I didn’t know what to say. That I had truly experienced the transforming power of God was clear to me, but as to exactly what it was that God did to me to cause that change, I couldn’t say. God brought about the change, but that explains who changed me, not what he did to change me. The person asking the question surmised that it had to do with my coming to an understanding of the meaning of life. They thought that my getting a handle on what life was really all about stabilized me.

There is truth in this, but it doesn’t fully answer the question, “How does it work?” My changed viewpoint has had a great positive effect on me. But is that what made the difference? And even if it did, what was it that caused my viewpoint to so radically change? Was it my own willingness to adopt a new way of thinking that transformed me? I don’t think so. Is there even an adequate answer to this question? It wouldn’t bother me if there wasn’t. That God’s reality is at work in my life is good enough for me. Yet after giving this much thought, I do think there is more that can be said about how the transforming power of God works.

The most obvious aspect of my transformation was psychological. The panic attacks stopped. My outlook on life radically changed. I had been a very self-centered person, and while I do not claim selflessness, my world was no longer just about me any longer. Similarly, morality had meant little to me, but once the Messiah came into my life, I began to develop a strong sense of right and wrong. Also, life in general which previously had no meaning now had purpose. My Jewish identity had been important to me, but without much substance. Once I came to know the reality of the God of Israel, I began to see myself as part of his eternal plan that was intimately rooted in my forefathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. A lot changed, but this still doesn’t answer the question.

The Answer

The best way to explain how my transformation worked is through the biblical concept of redemption. Redemption is the act of buying back a person sold into slavery or the restoration of property lost due to extreme poverty. According to the Torah (the Five Books of Moses), redeeming a slave or the poor was the obligation of a near relative (see Vayikra/Leviticus 25 & 27 and Bemidbar/Numbers 35).

Redemption in the Bible

Redemption is a reoccurring theme in the Bible. Jacob refers to God’s redemption in his life (Bereshit/Genesis 48:16). The deliverance of Israel from slavery in Egypt is called redemption (Shemot/Exodus 6:6; 15:13). God as the Redeemer of Israel is found several times in the prophets (Isaiah 41:14; 43:1; 43:14; 52:3; Jeremiah 50:34; Micah 4:10; etc.). The Book of Ruth is a beautiful story of redemption. In the Psalms we have references to God as redeemer of both Israel as a nation (Psalms 74:2; 77:15; 78:35. etc.) and for individuals (Psalms 19:14; 69:18; 103:4, etc.).

Redemption is the act of rescuing a person or persons from a most dire situation and restoring them to a place of freedom. This is what happened to me. This is the answer to the question.

Rescued From Oppression

I had been in an oppressive state which included several components. The most basic was the spiritual one in that I had been alienated from God. But it also included a relational component in that my home life was extremely dysfunctional and my friendships were based on selfishness. It had an economic component as well in that the only parent in my life was no longer able to provide for our needs. It had an intellectual component in that I had no direction for my education. I also had a sub-standard work ethic, since I thought life was simply about comfort and pleasure.

When I encountered God that day, he redeemed me. By Yeshua’s giving his life as the ransom for my sins, God rescued me from my oppression, set me in right relationship with himself and began to direct me in the quality of life he desires for us all. It was his redemption that significantly alleviated my extreme anxiety. It was not that my perspective on life resulted in a psychological adjustment. Rather I experienced a psychological adjustment due to God’s transforming power of redemption.

One day, not long after asking Yeshua into my life, I remarked to myself that things looked different. While my physical surroundings hadn’t really changed, it was as if the realm in which I found myself had. The fact is it did. As expressed in these words from the New Covenant (New Testament) writings:

For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins (Colossians 1:13-14).

God’s redemption of the people of Israel in Egypt anticipated an even greater redemption through the Messiah, which is now available to all. It is not just a new frame of mind or a deeper commitment to a religious lifestyle, but a life-changing encounter with the God of Israel.

* Interested in seeing a list of Old Testament prophecies that are fulfilled by Yeshua (Jesus), click here.

Questions? Contact me.

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